runner

there is a desire in me that i've always dimissed.

i have always, secretly, ardently wished to be a runner.

to be able to take off and run, to have that stamina, that endurance.

as a person who worries way too much for my own good,

there is always a part of me that longs to let go.

to be free from the worry.

sitting still usually only makes it worse.

running just seems so...freeing.

just putting on a pair of shoes and going. just going out and running.

and while i have only just begun, i still have to say that

i do feel free. liberated from the everyday,

and most amazingly...very much at peace.

all i have to think about is the next step, taking my next deep breath.

and i think to myself...what if i could do this all the time?

what if i could really be a runner?

but there is a part of me that is lazy as the day is long.

and another part that is a bit defeatist.

and they told me...

running is for other people. you could never be a runner.

but you know what?

i can.

it might take a while, i'll have to work up to it.

but i can.

"people begin running for any number of motives,

but we stick to it for one basic reason...

to find out who we really are."

- George Sheehan