Changes and Challenges

Hello all!

Well, its been a while, but its also been a pretty quiet month. Last August was not an easy one, so its been nice to have some uneventful time. To top it all off, we have been having unusually cool (low 80's) temps here for almost the entire month. Compared to last summers multiple 100+ days, it has been glorious. 

I (Emily) had my upper wisdom teeth out a couple of weeks ago, which are healing well, but there have been major secondary problems with my jaw muscles, having to do with a combination of things (surgery, too much jaw stress too soon after surgery, and nighttime clenching and grinding).  I am starting to get to the bottom of the pain, and working on techniques for relaxing those muscles so, God-willing, healing will not be far behind.  Please pray for me - that I will be able to have joy in the midst of suffering and remember that the Lord has given me a gift for the greater good of something or someone outside of myself.

I also took a risk yesterday and cut my hair very short.  While it may seem superficial, it was a great exercise in letting go of the things that hold me back.  I too often give into anxiety and uncertainty, instead of rejoicing at the bountiful gifts the Lord puts in our lives on a daily basis. And it felt good to let go! To try something new, and to dismiss the anxiety. It is a small surface thing, but if I can do those little things, I can go on to do bigger things!  

Of course, one thing I never have trouble taking joy in is our niece, Luna.  That little girl can make me smile through anything.  Children bring me joy no matter what they are doing.  For some reason, I am able to see the big picture, even in the midst of a temper tantrum or fussing.  These things in particular never give me much anxiety or worry (which isn't to say I haven't come to a point of exhaustion after a three hour crying session!).   And it is in those moments that I know without a moment's hesitation that God gave me such a beautiful gift in that.  I can never understand people who don't like children. I don't mean that in an impatient way, or a judging manner, but in that I simply cannot comprehend it. Much the way that I can't comprehend the awesomeness of God, I can't comprehend the very thought of not being joyful at the wonder of God's creation in a child. They are so miraculous. So filled with wonder, newness, abandon, joy.  And I've lost patience, been frustrated, sure.  But still the joy remains.  And I think, with great anticipation, of the time when I will be a mother, and I pray that my joy will be a thousand-fold. 

That got a lot more philosophical than I anticipated, but most of my blogs turn out that way, so why not? :)

George is good. He's technician of the month (AGAIN!) I think this is 6 or 7 for him.  I praise God that he blessed me with a man who works as hard and with as much integrity as my husband does.  

We are off to camp this weekend...hopefully we will have good weather for some hikes and some fun on the lake! 

Happy Labor Day!

Much love.

family

I can't help but be so grateful that God created the idea of the family.  On Friday, my mom, brother Josh, and sister Sarah, spent the whole day driving from South Carolina to spend a few days with us on their way up to Wyoming.  I was pretty excited to be able to spend some quality time with them. We didn't see much of the sights of Kansas City, opting instead to just spend time with one another.  And I thought how wonderful it is that we want to spend time with each other that way.  

I know families who don't get along, don't want to be with each other, don't celebrate with each other or share sorrows with one another.  And while seeing something like that makes me sad, I'm also grateful that my parents cultivated a sense of community among my siblings and I.  I can't imagine living a life without my family.  George's family is also very close, and I'm grateful to have that community here in KC.  I'm grateful that when George and I are blessed with children, they will witness and experience so much love and caring from our families.  They will know that they always have a place where they will be welcomed and loved, and that they will never be alone.  

 And I get to see them again next Wednesday, on the way back from Wyoming, this time with my dad and Mary.  Hopefully at Thanksgiving we will also have David with us!  Its amazing to see all of us kids choose our own paths, and venture out into the world, to grow and become the people God has designed us to be, and still want to be with each other! I miss my family often, but I also know that when George and I start our own family, I will know how to cultivate the kind of community that will both shelter them and encourage them as they grow!

How beautiful....is forgiveness

I (Emily) have thought a lot about forgiveness recently.  It is such a tremendous act that Jesus calls us to when he asks us to forgive.  It requires you to be truly selfless to really forgive, and in doing so, will bring you into closer communion with God.  That being said...it has also caused me to think about apologies. I read an article today in which a woman wondered why there weren't any sermons on apologizing.  And truthfully, I thought "Yeah, how come?"

But then I really started thinking. Apologies are not most valuable to us when we offer them, we value them more when someone gives them to us.  And while I do not profess to be any great scholar, it did occur to me that Jesus did not speak about how often people should apologize. Repentance, yes, but I'm not certain its the same as an apology.  Repentance can only be the result of a true willingness to examine ourselves and have remorse for our actions; to see the big picture and how we have affected others and our own souls. True repentance can't be faked.  Apologies on the other hand, can be insincere.  I have made apologies to end a fight, to get out of trouble, and because I knew I should, even though I didn't feel like it.

But then, just as I was getting bogged down in the "why can't so-and-so or what's-their-name ever apologize when they've wronged me?" I heard that little prompt (sidenote: how beautiful is that? that the Holy Spirit prompts us back toward God's path just when we need it?)  saying, "But isn't it greater to give than to receive?"  Right. Isn't it greater to give forgiveness than to receive an apology? That's a hard one.  We feel good, vindicated even, when someone apologizes to us; when others verbally acknowledge that they have wronged us.  I know I do.  I also find myself stewing over how I've been wronged, holding a grudge. 

 But is that how we serve each other? Not just spouses or friends...but all of humankind.  Jesus asks us to serve others. He doesn't specify whom.  And is there a better way to serve others than to truly let go of the things people have done to wrong us and forgive without an apology? Without repentance? I don't know, but when I consider it, even just open my heart a little bit to the possibility that forgiveness without apologies from another is better than an even exchange, I find it easier...and I know that God is flooding me with grace to let go of my bitterness. What a tremendous gift we've been given. The power to forgive selflessly; if we only ask for it.  How beautiful.  

   

how to be a better servant?

I must confess that recently I have become a big fan of other people's blogs. A couple of the blogs are written by people I know, and one by people I don't know at all, but who are friends of friends of ours. What do all of these blogs have in common, you ask? Each one is maintained by a married couple who have epitomized what it means to have selfless love for their spouses. As I read them, I am amazed at how they speak of one another, with such honor, respect and awe. They express a genuine desire to serve each other. And through them, the Lord is moving my heart...

As George and I approach our third anniversary next month, I have been thinking a great deal about the kind of wife I have been, and consequently, the kind of marriage I have cultivated. I love George, and he loves me, but have I been the kind of wife who has set an example of loving, selfless service to my husband? Do I put his well-being before my own?  I have to admit the answer is no. Instead of being thankful for my husband, I take him for granted on more occasions than I care to admit. 

These thoughts have led me to reflect on scripture that has been continually popping into my head, no doubt at the Holy Spirit's prompting. "you are fearfully and wonderfully made" - truly, as a child of God, my husband is just that.  "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine"  - how many times have I thought of and done things for George with the attitude that he is my beloved, and not just someone in my home capable of doing something for me? how many times have I spoken of him with honor, respect, and awe? regretfully, not enough. 

While all of these reflections can seem to be very discouraging, I am feeling blessed that the Lord, in his infinite goodness, has not allowed discouragement to fall upon my heart.  Instead, He has filled me with the determination to change, deep within myself, and be the wife He designed me to be, the wife He designed for my beloved.  He has also given me faith to believe that in becoming that woman, a woman who respects her beloved, putting him before my own needs, our marriage will prosper in ways I could not have ever imagined.  For nothing is impossible with God.

 

Summer - almost

Well, I am almost a month into my new job, and I am really having a good time! I have a lot of different responsibilities, and I am normally pretty busy, which is how I like it. I never like being idle at work. So, its really feeling like a great fit for me. I have great colleagues, and its a terrific environment to work in. 

We finally have our house unpacked! It feels good, and we are looking forward to having friends and family over. My parents are even coming out for Thanksgiving, so the pressure is on as I make my first thanksgiving feast! But I'll have my dad and George's dad to guide me, so I'm not sure I could go wrong!

George and I are also having a great time with our niece, Luna. She is four months old now, and she is laughing and smiling up a storm. She definitely knows us, and its really rewarding to see her recognize us when we see her! George even changed his first diaper ever! Fortunately for him, she smiled and cooed at him, so he had it pretty easy! I can remember a time when diaper changes had her screaming. So he was eased into the whole process. She is awfully kind to her uncle George! 

This weekend we will be going to my friend Susan's wedding in Fort Dodge, IA. I get to sing for it, which is a great privilege. Hopefully, the flooding up there won't make travel too difficult. 

That's all from our little world. All our love,  Emily and George

New beginnings

Well, it's official...I got a new job! I received an offer for an executive assistant position at a financial firm in Overland Park. It feels really good to know that when I finish working for the Benjamins in 3 weeks, I will start a new job the following week. The anxiety has definitely lifted. Thank you for all the prayers.

I have really enjoyed being a nanny. It has provided well for us as we continue our quest to become debt free. But I do think it is time to move on, so that George and I can focus on our own lives, and hopefully our own little family too!

As for the house, we got the keys this morning! At present, George is really enjoying opening and closing the garage door with the opener. He looks like a kid at Christmas...big grin, just reveling in the joy of having our own space. Meanwhile, I am figuring out where to put all the furniture, with a big grin of my own...imagining the possibilities and planning away. George is hoping to get the fence put in this week, and then our dog trainer will come over to help us so that we don't inadvertently traumatize Vera! I can't wait until she can run around in the yard.

Its funny...I've felt for so long that we have been in limbo, waiting to begin our lives, and here we are! Piper asked me yesterday, with an innocence only a 3 yr. old can possess, "Emmy, what do you wish for?" I honestly could not think of a thing.

Although, Piper did say that she would share her 4 fish and 3 mermaids with me, which is of course, what she wishes for. ;)

We're moving! And other various and sundry items.

Hello all!

I think we are finally going to be utilizing our blog more frequently as things are certainly changing quickly here.

Probably most exciting...we are moving into a house! yay! I cannot express what a joy it will be to sit in a backyard in the afternoon, park a car in our garage, and mow our lawn! It will also be exciting for our newest addition, our dog, Vera. Running is, of course, one of her favorite things to do, so having a yard all to herself for just such a pastime will hopefully be very enjoyable in her doggie world.

I am also in the process of searching for a new job, and had a very positive interview on Friday. So keep me in your prayers. It would be great to have a new job all sewn up a month ahead of schedule! I should find out this week...

George is still with Brinks, and they are coming up on their busy time in the summer. But we are both beginning to think about giving lessons. Since we'll be in a house, that will be monumentally easier. I may teach voice and beginning piano, while George is considering teaching guitar and percussion...although that may require some soundproofing!!! :)

That's all for now, but stay tuned! Much love to all!