How beautiful....is forgiveness

I (Emily) have thought a lot about forgiveness recently.  It is such a tremendous act that Jesus calls us to when he asks us to forgive.  It requires you to be truly selfless to really forgive, and in doing so, will bring you into closer communion with God.  That being said...it has also caused me to think about apologies. I read an article today in which a woman wondered why there weren't any sermons on apologizing.  And truthfully, I thought "Yeah, how come?"

But then I really started thinking. Apologies are not most valuable to us when we offer them, we value them more when someone gives them to us.  And while I do not profess to be any great scholar, it did occur to me that Jesus did not speak about how often people should apologize. Repentance, yes, but I'm not certain its the same as an apology.  Repentance can only be the result of a true willingness to examine ourselves and have remorse for our actions; to see the big picture and how we have affected others and our own souls. True repentance can't be faked.  Apologies on the other hand, can be insincere.  I have made apologies to end a fight, to get out of trouble, and because I knew I should, even though I didn't feel like it.

But then, just as I was getting bogged down in the "why can't so-and-so or what's-their-name ever apologize when they've wronged me?" I heard that little prompt (sidenote: how beautiful is that? that the Holy Spirit prompts us back toward God's path just when we need it?)  saying, "But isn't it greater to give than to receive?"  Right. Isn't it greater to give forgiveness than to receive an apology? That's a hard one.  We feel good, vindicated even, when someone apologizes to us; when others verbally acknowledge that they have wronged us.  I know I do.  I also find myself stewing over how I've been wronged, holding a grudge. 

 But is that how we serve each other? Not just spouses or friends...but all of humankind.  Jesus asks us to serve others. He doesn't specify whom.  And is there a better way to serve others than to truly let go of the things people have done to wrong us and forgive without an apology? Without repentance? I don't know, but when I consider it, even just open my heart a little bit to the possibility that forgiveness without apologies from another is better than an even exchange, I find it easier...and I know that God is flooding me with grace to let go of my bitterness. What a tremendous gift we've been given. The power to forgive selflessly; if we only ask for it.  How beautiful.